Los 5 Lenguajes Del Amor De Los Ninos / The Five Languages Of Love For Children

ISBN: 0789905086
ISBN 13: 9780789905086
By: Gary Chapman

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Reader's Thoughts

Lindsay Loughlin

I really liked this book. The theory is that there are 5 love languages and by figuring out your child's primary love language, you can figure out how they best perceive and feel love. Without even reading the descriptions, I could easily figure out my oldest son's primary love language. The books says if your child is under 5, you probably won't be able to tell their primary language yet so I am interested in trying to pick up the clues as the twins get older.


The Five Love Languages has so much good information in it, but I didn't feel that the Five Love Languages OF CHILDREN added very much to that. It might have been more useful had my children been older. I was interested in what it had to say about discipline, but obviously disciplining a teenager is different than disciplining a preschooler and the discipline information in the book seemed to be for someone a little more rational than a three year old. I don't think I'm going to be able to hold onto that information for the next ten years. I'm generally leery of any parenting book that throws around the phrases like "will cause lasting and irreversible damage," referring to the child as a result of something a parent does or does not do. It was especially strange in this book because it was never talking about anything blatantly harmful. No parent is perfect and there are quite a few functioning adults in the world, so I don't know how much there really is that can't be undone. Just love your kids, people.If you were only going to read one of these Love Languages books, I would go for the basic one over the child-specific one.

Joshua Park

With any book that's designed to help parents be better parents for their kids, it's easy to fall into the trap of defining the success of the book by whether its advice was successful in the reader's family. The fact that every child is different is actually the highlight of this book. This helps people understand why two kids might react completely differently to the same gifts, the same activities, and the same punishments. It has to do with how the people involved show and express love.Most of the explanations from this "5 Love Languages" book were more instructive to me than the examples from Gary Chapman's main book in this vein, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.One problem: I expected this book to help with my toddler. In the book, Chapman and Campbell say that if the child is under the age of 5 that I should just not try to figure out the love language. They also say that parents should not discipline or punish the child with methods related to the child's love language. (E.g., a child in dire need of Quality Time could be emotionally damaged by punishing them with isolation.) This presents a problem: I am not to discipline in my child's love language, but I can't know what my child's language is until he's older? Should I simply hope that my discipline tactics are not in the same language as my son's understanding of love?Sadly, the authors do not offer a solution to this. It seems that the book is geared primarily toward school-aged children. Still, the advice seems good and I'd hate to fault the book with a lower rating simply because of the book's scope. I wish the publisher had clarified the appropriate age range of the book in its list description.

Mary Messall

The "love languages" are "physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service." I wanted to read this because my sister once referred to this idea, pointing out that our dad doesn't say "I love you," all the time, but does give us all generous gifts, and that this is his way of telling us how much he cares about us, though we haven't always appreciated it. The advice to parents is to figure out which of these is most meaningful to each of their children, and to make an effort to show their love in a way that the child will understand, even if it does not feel natural to the parent. The book itself is a little hokey at times, says sort of judgmental things about single parents and working mothers, and makes religious references which might be somewhat off-putting to non-Christians. But in general I thought the advice was good and the underlying idea useful. I find myself thinking in these terms.


I think this book is fascinating! I've noticed that my children, my spouse and I all have a love language that relates to them. The love language is your preferred way of giving & receiving love. What I loved most about this book is the knowledge that when you discipline a child in their love language it cuts really deep. For example, my daughter is a words of affirmation child, and when I correct her actions, she shuts down (even when I do it in the nicest way 'we can't touch that sweetie') My son is a physical touch child, and if I punish him by not letting him sit on my lap, it really hurts his feelings. But if I correct him with words, he doesn't care. It talks a lot about how parents can do everything they want to show their children love, but if they are not showing the child love in the way they prefer it, the child may feel unloved, even to the most attentive parent


In the Evangelical tribe I grew up in, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman provided the idiom to talk about how each us receive and give love. Because of our unique personalities and family of origin, we each have modes of expressing love which is particularly meaningful to us. For some it words of affirmation. Others feel particularly loved when you spend quality time with them. Giving and receiving gifts is another ‘love language.’ Others feel loved through physical touch or acts of service. My love language is gift giving (so keep them coming ;P ). Chapman’s original book has helped countless people understand their own love needs and how to best express love to their mates (and other loved ones) whose ‘love language is often different from their own.I don't typically read ‘spin-off’ books. The fact that there is a Love Language book for singles, men, children, teenagers etc, seems a little too much like “Chicken Soup for the Cat-Lover’s Soul.” It is more of a marketing ploy than something you expect to say something new. But then I am the father of three very different children and thought that The 5 Love Languages of Children would provide me with some insights on how to love my children well. I was pleasantly surprised by what I read inside. This is a great book.While Gary Chapman and his co-author, Ross Campbell, M.D., say that it is impossible to identify a primary love language for kids under the age of five, and warns that love languages can change at various stages, I gained some appreciation for the uniqueness of my three year old needs and some understanding of my five year old. My two-year-old son is still a mystery.Chapman and Campbell devote the first half of this book to describing the five love languages and how to recognize them in your children. In the last half of the book they describe how to discipline children, foster learning and help children manage their anger by responding to them in ways which ‘fill their love language’ when we give direction or correction. They also discuss some of the unique challenges of responding to a child’s love language for single-parent families and how modelling love languages in marriage helps your children.This is a quick read with a lot of insight. Every involved parent loves their children (hopefully!); however not every child feels their parent’s love. This book helps parents understand their children and offers sage advice on how to nurture them in love. My oldest daughter seems to have a primary love language of Quality Time and loves it when you spend time with her. My almost four year old, I would guess has a preference for acts of service. She loves it when you do things for her in a way that her independent older sister never did. This helps me respond with greater patience when she has me help her with something she is quite capable of. And of course Chapman and Campbell also encourage parents to nurture your children to express each of the love languages to others.But the most important chapters for me would be the chapters on discipline, learning and managing anger. My kids are unique with different personalities and I have learned that what works with one kid will not work with the others. Certainly there is a lot I still need to discover about my children but like the original Love Languages book, this gives me some words to talk about it.I recommend this book to parents. It may be a spin-off but it delievers the goods. I give this book four stars. : ★★★★☆Thank you to Moody Publishers for providing me a copy of this book in exchange for this fair and honest review.


I appreciate the aims of this book. My biggest worry as a parent--or rather, ONE of my many biggest--is that my daughter will not feel sufficiently loved/appreciated/proud of/etc. Love was a complicated and fraught thing in my home growing up, which has led me to be overly-concerned and ready to consume the books offered at the library in hopes of not missing out.This is another one of those books that could have been covered in a nice article rather than a lengthy book and the elaborations seemed to treat the reader as if no interpretation abilities were present. I think this will help most in conflict, which is perhaps the best place it can be used--a reminder of what my kids might need more of at a particular time and how I might offer it to her. She needs to feel loved and unconditionally and on all levels. The implications of knowing a person's love language could be deep manipulation, which is a bit unfortunate. Fortunately, I think my partnership would never resort to that, which I hope will carry over to my daughter and any future littles. I appreciate the pointing out of how one must have a solid partnership and other good adult relationships in order to model and pass on good feelings and behavior. And I think it's important to process anger and upset situations wisely. But I find the pigeonholing a bit silly.


This was a great book! Loved how it talks about each of the love languages with children in mind. Also gives some good ideas on how to figure out what your child's love language is. For my full review check out...http://soldierswifecrazylife.com


This book is the revised version of The 5 Love Languages of Children written by Dr. Gary D. Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell. I have not read the other versions so will not be comparing this one to any of the other books.I have heard of this book over the years and the concept that we all have a way that we receive love. This particular book centers on how our children accept and feel love. The authors break down into 5 different areas (or languages as they call it) the ways to express love to our children. Each child is different in how they need love presented to them. What is interesting is how they explain that we each give and receive love in different ways. Meaning you may need to receive flowers on Valentines Day to feel loved but want to show love to your spouse by spending time going on a walk alone with them. Our children are the same way, each receive and each show love in different ways. One may need you to sit and play board games with them while they show you love by speaking words of encouragement to you every day.The book is organized and easy to follow. I liked the end of the book where you can work on some questions with your child and narrow down how they most feel loved. Do they like it when you bring home treats for them or do they like it better when you give them a big hug instead? Very helpful for anyone struggling to reach out to a child and not sure why the child is pulling away. I think it is a great book for any parent no matter the age of their child. I look forward to reading the other 5 Love Languages books! If they are filled with as much helpful information as this book was they are worth reading too!I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for the copy of this book I enjoyed reading. I gave an honest review based on my opinion of what I read.


I did find this book helpful in some ways, and frustrating in others. While it was beneficial to learn the different ways a child feels loved and the authors did offer some approaches to behavioral issues that have already been beneficial, I just don't think that knowing a child's love language and "filling their love tank" will solve ALL of a child's behavioral problems as the book suggests. I felt the authors put too much responsibility on the parent for a child's behavior. While I definitely feel as a parent I do have a lot of power and influence on my child, ultimately how he/she acts is not entirely up to me or within my control and the child makes the final decision as to how he/she behaves. It was helpful to add this info to my parenting arsenal, I just don't think life is as tidy as the book suggests.


I don't like this book very much. Gary Chapman co-wrote this book with someone named Ross Campbell, and I have the impression (perhaps the wrong impression) that they are Campbell's parts of the the book that are giving me trouble. Love languages--good. But I have the constant feeling while reading this book that while they are giving with one hand, they are taking everything away with the other. This makes me feel like the love stuff is rather wishy-washy, and the discipline stuff is entirely child centered. Am I using that phrase correctly? In other words, Campbell seems to say that the parent is entirely responsible for the child's behavior, but the only power the parent has to channel that behavior is to use the love languages. Anything else has to be initiated by the child. They've really muddled up my own practice of discipline.I firmly believe that all discipline must arise out of love, and that we as parents have the responsibility of doing what is best for the child in the long run, not just what seems good for the moment. This part of their argument I can agree with. Unconditional love--again, I agree. But there seems to be no way to encourage first-time obedience under Campbell's program, and this bothers me. I don't want to control my child. Far from it. At the same time, he needs to learn how to obey, not because he feels like it, but because it is right to do so. I feel like Campbell's advice takes away any ability I have to train my children in that.

Brandy Ferrell

The Five Love Languages of Children has certainly given me some specific ideas for more adequately expressing love to my children. Not only that, it is helping us as a family to communicate better with one another. Our three boys have enjoyed learning about the Love Languages with me, which was completely unexpected but absolutely wonderful! This book is a very good, quick read but is also quite convicting. Even in expressing love to my children, I have realized that at times even my best intentions have actually become a burden to them. Much of this book rings true for me personally, though I don't always fit the mold. The main point of the book is that we have several ways to express love to one another, and while some may feel loved through certain expressions, others may not. It's important to recognize that!And… I have determined that I'm not so mature in handling anger and expressing love, but now I have some specific ideas to help me become a better parent. 1 Peter 4:8


The five love languages has had much acclaim for the use in parenting children as well in the aiding of marriages. I found the book slightly interesting, mildly helpful, and downright obvious in spots. While understanding the different love languages a person can have: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch, can move you worlds closer to getting along with someone, it doesn't necessarily always bridge the gap of personality comprehension. For children, I believe the language that each child responds to, is constantly changing and almost always not one of these languages but a combination of them. This makes it difficult to know and administer to. While making relationships better is never an easy undertaking, once you understand a love language, you would think it might simplify things. This isn't always so, either. Just because my husband knows my love language is Acts of Service, doesn't necessarily mean he's any more willing to do the dishes or clean up after himself. Now there's a book I can get behind, getting you husband and children to clean up after themselves. I'm not saying this book has no merit. By far it has some great ideas and ways of getting to the heart of relating to your children, and it can't possibly hurt or hinder your relationship with your children. Especially for those that have never considered that there are other ways to show your love for your children than what you're used to, it can give great insight into alternative methods for doing so. For someone like me, who is constantly analyzing my relationships with my family and how to make them better, it isn't altogether a new topic. At the very least, it's a good solid foundation of principles for those looking to gain a deeper connection with their children. ClassicsDefined.com


This is the February 2012, "new look, refreshed content" version of The 5 Love Languages of Children and for sure it's a keeper I'll reread and refer to in the future. "More than one million sold" of previous editions!Like spoken ways of communicating such as Tagalog, Japanese or Russian - though not considering specific regional accents or dialects - love between human parents and children as well as partners and friends has five basic expressions: physical touch; words of affirmation; quality time; gifts; acts of service. What is it about love? Unconditional love provides safety, security, and emotional well-being to a child or to anyone, making them feel loved. Knowing the different love languages people in our lives speak makes relationships easier and helps make those we relate to healthier, more functional and happier members of society, family and world. According to authors Chapman and Campbell, "...a child's need for love is basic to all other needs. Receiving love and learning to give love is the soil out of which all positive endeavors grow." [page 24] I love the metaphor of keeping a person's love tank full! And in order to feel loved, a person needs to be "spoken" to in the language of love they understand best--that particular love language is their "show me!"Unconditional love is not a payback or a bribe and it's interesting to know one can't figure out the primary love language of a child under 5 years old. Also, they're not cast in concrete or set in stone, so be aware your own, your spouses, friend's or child's primary love language may shift and even change with time.This book is from the relatively conservative Christian pub house Moody and though it references scripture, the authors incorporate it subtly and well and I cannot imagine any of it offending anyone who interprets the bible from almost any theological perspective. On page 54, after referencing the Ten Commandments and Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, the authors explain "the supreme law is the law of love." Scriptural mandates us first to love God and then to love neighbor and self... Amen! In Greek, "charis" is the root of grace and of gift.There is a separate chapter for each love language or style with an activity list at the end of each of those five chapters. Practical chapters on discovering your child's primary love language (this would work for anyone you're in ongoing relationship with), discipline, learning, anger, single parent families and marriage related to the five love languages follow. A hopeful epilogue reassures us "what might be is still ahead" and outlines possible ways of tearing down walls poor parenting and negative relationships have built in order to build bridges to new ways of being, healthy ways of loving. Throughout the book the authors scatter brief, highly accessible case study examples of parents and their children. I loved hearing again about Susanna Wesley carefully nurturing all ten of her kids! Those of us in the church are well aware of her well-known preacher sons Samuel, Charles and John, but I hadn't known about her daughter Emilia.The 5 Love Languages of Children is comfortable to hold, clearly typeset in an easy to read serif font, with pullquotes in the margins of many pages highlighting particular concepts. Section headings within each chapter help the reader concentrate on what's next and it's written in very basic English, I'd guess possibly 8th grade level or less, but definitely not "dumbed down" in the least. This is a terrific resource for helping anyone tease out families members' and their own basic language of receiving love, though needless to say, everyone also needs to be loved in the remaining four languages.


My oldest child is much like me, but my second felt so different! But for the first time I'm understanding him, and this book may be the difference between a close relationship with him during these formative years, and a distant one.This is the best parenting book I've read. In a nutshell: everyone shows love and desires love in return, but we do it in different ways. Those "ways" are called languages, and are condensed into five types. Receiving love in YOUR language fills your love tank. Kids whose love tanks are full learn better, are disciplined more easily, and manage anger more appropriately. A great analogy for the whole thing: Someone can be screaming as loud as possible in Chinese, but if you don't speak Chinese, you're not going to understand them.

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