Los Cinco Lenguajes de La Disculpa = Five Languages of Apology

ISBN: 141431289X
ISBN 13: 9781414312897
By: Gary Chapman Jennifer Thomas

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About this book

Asi como tu tienes un lenguaje del amor distinto al de otras personas, tambien escuchas y expresas las palabras y gestos de disculpa en tu propio lenguaje. Gary Chapman, exitoso autor ampliamente reconocido por el "New York Times, " junto con la consejera Jennifer Thomas nos traen este exhaustivo estudio sobre la forma en que expresamos nuestras disculpas, demostrando que no solo se trata de una cuestion de la voluntad, sino tambien de la manera en la cual expresamos nuestras disculpas. Ayudandonos a identificar los lenguajes de la disculpa, este libro facilita el camino hacia la creacion de relaciones interpersonables saludables y duraderas. Los autores nos proporcionan tecnicas adecuadas para dar y recibir disculpas en forma efectiva. CARACTERISTICAS: Incluye un formulario para su evaluacion personal segun los Cinco Lenguajes de la Disculpa. Investigaciones y ejemplos de la vida real presentan conceptos de facil entendimiento. Presentacion de casos practicos y demostracion de como reparar relaciones entre parejas, matrimonios, novios, familiares, amigos, socios y companeros de trabajo. Just as you have a different love language, you also hear and express the words and gestures of apology in a different language. "New York Times" best-selling author Gary Chapman has teamed with counselor Jennifer Thomas on this groundbreaking study of the way we apologize, discovering that it's not just a matter of will--it's a matter of how. By helping people identify the languages of apology, this book clears the way toward healing and sustaining vital relationships. The authors detail proven techniques for giving and receiving effective apologies. FEATURES: Apology assessment profile helps readers identify apology languages. Eye-opening research and real-life examples make concepts easy to understand and follow. Proven, practical steps for repairing relationships involving spouses, dating, family and the workplace.

Reader's Thoughts

Frans Karlsson

Another great book by Chapman about how there is a difference of how we apologize and receive apologies. He did a good way of linking this together with his other teaching and with lot of practical examples made many good points. Recommended for any relationships.

Rebekka Steg

I'm sure we're all aware, that it is important to give a genuine apology, when we make mistakes and hurt someone - whether it is on purpose or not. But sometimes, even though we are sincerely sorry, the person we've hurt, might not think our apology is sincere, because we are not apologizing in a language they can understand.As with love languages, we tend to apologize (or show love) in our own primary language, which is not necessarily the primary language of the person we have hurt. The authors recommend that in case you don't know the person's language of apology, play it safe, and use all five.


I've only skimmed this book to find my and my husband's apology language and already notice a difference in understanding this key difference between the two of us. He has to hear "I was wrong", I have to hear "Here's how I'll make it up to you". Helpful to understand in other relationships as well why you sometimes feel an apology was sincere or not, or to understand maybe why your apology may not have been viewed as sincere to another.


I liked the easy language that made this book a real learning experience for me. I learned that I was not even apoloigizing but sending out excuses to others. I hope to include the 5 languages of apology in my language from now on. A great book that can be a companion book to the 5 Love Languages also bythis male author.

Sybelle van Erven

Well, I did not actually finish this one. I thought it became a little too repetitive. As helpfula s Gary Chapman's books are, this one didn't do it for me. Yes, it was interesting to hear that even in apology people have different languages, so I will trey to remember that when apologizing. But beyond those ideas, I just think it became kind of a repeating of similar ideas, either from his other books or from previous chapters. I don't think you need to read much more than the first few chapters and you'll get it.


** spoiler alert ** Several of my friends are reading other books in this line (the five love languages, etc). One of them told me to "keep my filter on." I'll say. This book has a very Christian focus. The chapter on forgiveness was pretty much useless to me, as it was mostly "let go and let God".(Would a more careful reading of the book jacket have forewarned me? Possibly.)A lot of the examples are also based on Christian morals. Man, I thought I had problems...people get upset about some really silly things. (Note: looking at porn != porn addiction! Hello!) I think what bothered me most was that there was a lack of what I'd consider healthy boundaries in the example scenarios & solutions. (Warning: potential trigger ahead.) I found it offensive to suggest that a molested child who had run away from home return and apologize to her parents first. In fact, I kinda turned the air in the room a bit blue when I read that.Despite all that, I will probably go ahead & read the five love languages, JFK.

Ashley Thompson

I've read The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate and The Five Love Languages for Singles and appreciate knowing the love languages and knowing what mine are, what my spouse's are, and those of family and close friends. My husband and I were discussing the love languages again the other day and went to Chapman's website, where we noticed a quiz for "apology languages". So we both took it and then I read this book. Knowing how we are when we apologize or the type of apology we expect from each other makes so much more sense, and also knowing how we are with others or in business situations. For me, making restitution and genuinely repenting indicate a sincere, meaningful apology, but for my husband, expressing regret and accepting responsibility are enough. Asking forgiveness is the fifth language.I highly recommend taking this quiz to find out your apology language (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile...) and then reading the book if you want more information about it. The book was repetitive at times and all of the marriage case studies got old, especially as individual marriages vary and don't apply to everyone. Of course, Chapman included love language information for those who aren't familiar with it, although for me that was also repetitive as I've read the other books. The chapters in the back have some wisdom regarding forgiving/apologizing when you don't want to, how to apologize in a business situation, how to apologize to your in-laws and other family members, and how to apologize to yourself, among others. Each of the apology language chapters has example apology statements at the end, as well. Also good to teach your kids how to apologize in all ways and be aware of how others best receive apologies. All in all, I'd recommend if only to understand apology languages, but I'd advise skimming for the relevant/helpful parts.


This is a great book. We use it at OASIS and have found it to be very helpful to people. It is a great because it looks at what constitutes an apology and what does not. It is a book which is helpful at a personal level and in organizations where healing is needed.

Mandy Hoffman

I really enjoyed the first chapter of this book and agree with the authors that there are various languages of apology. I have noticed in my own marriage that at times my husband and I struggle with communicating our apology to one another. But within the next few chapters I soon disagreed with the author about the issue of when to forgive. I believe that we need to be cultivating a heart of forgiveness and taking our hurt to God so that when someone does apologies we are ready to extend our forgiveness to them. The more I read, I was struck with the fact that the root of the problem is pride. We stuggle to give some one an apology because of our own pride! If you have time to read this book I would suggest you instead read some good books about pride. If you begin to work on the pride in your life - we all have it! - I tink the languages of apology will come from the overflow of humbleness that you begin to cultivate.I recommend 2 books:Humility True GreatnessI Really Want to Change... So, Help Me God


This was a really informing read--I think everyone should at least glance through this book. It talks about how different people prefer different apologies, and how that's why sometimes apologies, while heartfelt, seem insincere. I learned that my apology langauage was "expressing regret", so now I know what brings me the biggest sense of closure :D

Julia Walker

Makes so much difference how you apologize. It also makes a difference how you hear an apology. Excellent material.


I'll admit this book was a little repetitive, but the premise and the examples of how people found peace by letting go of their own feelings were inspiring! I thought this book illustrated the divine principle of forgiveness beautifully. I want to go back and reread the chapter on, "Teaching children how to apologize". Interesting points there.

Pat W. Kirk

Have you ever had a disagreement with spouse, friend, or coworker and the apology given didn’t mend your hurt feelings? Or maybe you tried to apologize only to have your apology rejected. Possibly your apology didn’t match the style of the receiver. Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas discuss the various apology styles in The Five Languages of Apology. ... Christians Read: Books Review

Maria M. Elmvang

Unfortunately not nearly as good as "The Five Love Languages". I do think the authors have a point, that there are different languages of apology, but I found it a lot harder to relate to the differences between the languages, and I still have absolutely no clue what my primary language of apology is!It's not a book I'd want to read in one sitting - although that's what I did with TFLL - because as it's a book about apology you're automatically made to think of times when you owed others an apology, or they owed you one. Made for rather depressing reading at times.Gary and Jennifer do have some good points at times though, and while I still have no idea what neither my own nor my husband's language of apology is, I now know to rephrase my apology using several different ones. Besides, I do know one or two that it's definitely NOT, so that always helps.


If you have difficulty resolving conflicts with individuals you care about, this book provides the tools to get you started down the path. Written in the same style/tone as the Five Love Languages by Chapman, this book takes the time to outline, explain, discuss, and give examples of different ways people apologize. While it can be very easy to flip through the five different apology styles and think, "Yeah, I get it; I can understand all of these and don't have to finish reading this whole book", I would recommend taking some time with it, anyway. I found that even though I intellectually recognize these different apologies, I emotionally accept some easier than others, and only time to think about, read, and allowing the ideas to internalize will allow me to better accept apologies in other forms.(You don't have to read the Five Love Languages to understand this one, either.)

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