Men’s Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart

ISBN: 1568382332
ISBN 13: 9781568382333
By: Paul Kivel

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About this book

Though exercises, thought-provoking questions, and intense self-examination, MEN'S WORK helps men learn new rules and new roles in personal relationships and in the world at large. A unique program empowering men with the awareness and tools they need to end violence and recover their humanity.

Reader's Thoughts


Challenging book that pushes self-examination and taking that education and teaching it."Men's work:" undoing male violence. Topics include male and female socialization; expressing emotions; violence, sexual, physical, and addiction; sexuality and creating equitable, shared relationships; interacting with kids (parenting and teaching); and race and class intersections.It challenged my internalized sexisms. At times it was hard to read the forgiveness and understanding that Kivel holds out to abusers who are willing to do the work to hold themselves accountable. But Kivel does not simply forgive male privilege or sexual entitlement. He uses a nuanced exploration of socialization to break down scripted, unconscious behavior, like acting violent out of frustration, to show the choices that are possible to avoid and move past violence. This book isn't easy to go through, but it is clear, concise, and accessible. Men's work is good work.


Should be required reading for all men, or at the very least all men who care about ending violence and oppression.


really important to me


I actually have a little cache of quotes from the book in my PDA.I can really, really identify with this book.It is always hard to talk about being a man and what it means. The many sided craziness that is everything and the end to everything. Many male feminists don't seem to get it. This book does. It then offer suggestions around some or just concilliation for others.

Michael Hsu

When I was a little boy, my Mom would tell me to stop crying like a girl whenever I hurt myself from falling or other mishaps. Growing up, this has thought me I have to learn to suppress my feelings because showing emotion was unmanly. Like a pressure cooker, prolong suppression will eventually lead to a violent explosion.

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