The Five Love Languages of Teenagers

ISBN: 1881273393
ISBN 13: 9781881273394
By: Gary Chapman

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Christian Currently Reading Family Non Fiction Nonfiction Parenting Relationships Self Help Teens To Read

About this book

The Five Love Languages of Teenagers contains very practical guidance on how to express the teen's primary love language, how to teach them appropriate responsibility, and how to properly handle both parental and teen anger. It is a tangible resource for stemming the tide of violence, immorality, and despair engulfing many teens today.

Reader's Thoughts


Good reminder that I can't just express love in my language, but I need to express it in the way the receiver needs it. With two teens/tweens, I was surprised to find out that their language isn't MINE! Which would have made it so much easier....*sigh*.And that they are at the brink of trying out their own independence, so even speaking their language might not work if it is seen by them as controling or annoying.


I loved the original "Five Love Languages" and I'm always looking for ways to better connect to my teenager (soon to be multiple teenagers), so I thought this might be a great resource for me as a parent. And although this book wasn't revolutionary, it did spark more than a few ideas as well as encourage me to be intentional about showing them lots of love in their primary love language.

Tales Untangled

The original novel, The 5 Love Languages, introduces the idea that each person has a primary way in which they prefer to receive love.The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers is based on the same premise, but specifies different examples of how to show love that would be appropriately directed towards a teenager. The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers has a few good additions, but I felt like it was lacking ....To read the full review go to


This is the book I desperately needed, I see where I was doing things wrong by my son, without realizing it. Everyone with older children, my son is 11, needs to read this book. Our relationship is nowhere near perfect, but at least we are joking with one another again, and he's talking to me, and we are both listening. Not quite sure what his love language is, he still needs to take the quiz, I do have my thought as to which he is. A must read.


To each his own. This is a great book for parents with teenagers. I have two and this book was right on queue. Raising teens in this day and age is difficult, but if you can figure out their love language and fill their tank, you will succeed. Thank you Dr. Chapman!I use this book as a reference guide on a continuing basis.


Note: This review, as well as many more, can also be found on my blog, The Baking Bookworm ( Review: As you can see from my reading history on GoodReads or on my blog I'm not a big non-fiction reader so it should come as no shock that I didn't happen upon this book by myself. I learned of it from a friend of mine who had read another book in the series and she had quite positive reviews of it. I had never heard of or read any of Chapman's previous "Love Languages" books but the premise intrigued me.As many of you know I have one teen and two tweens at home. Let's just say that the household hormones runneth over. Over the past couple of years as Boy 1 entered teendom I've noticed differences in how we interact with each other and they're not always as positive as I would like. So I was eager to see if this book could give me a clearer view of what being a teen in 2013 is like for my son.Overall, I enjoyed this light read, learned a little and was reminded about a lot of parenting tools that I already had in my parenting arsenal. It reminded me of what it's like to be a teen -- how they feel, think etc and helped me to put some of my feelings/reactions into perspective (like not to feel hurt or put out when my teen wants/needs time to himself and doesn't necessarily want to hang with dear old mom). Deep down I knew that but a little reminder was needed.The notion of Chapman's five love languages is an interesting concept. As I read the book I started to look at my kids differently. Each of my kids have different 'love languages' so I tried, over the past few weeks, to figure out how to reach each them with their unique love languages. Boy 1 is not one for hugs (never has been). To reach him I had to stop using so much Physical Love (one of my main love languages) -- hugs, hair ruffling, kisses on the cheek -- and start using Words of Affirmation to get through to him. He responded to me better and you know what? He's actually become more OK with my occasional hugs. Who knew, right?Now Boy 2 is a different ball of wax all together. Boy 2 truly speaks the love language of Physical Touch with his love of snuggling, hugging 'just cuz' and how he likes to sit close to Brad and I even while just watching TV. It's always been easy for Boy 2 and I to show love because we kind of come from the same love language page, so to speak.Missy Moo's love language is definitely Quality Time. She adores having Brad or I to herself for some one-on-one time. Three different kids, three different ways to show them that I love them. So, by not showing each of my kids love using their own love language I may not have been imparting my love clearly to them. That was an 'a-ha' moment for me. Ultimately, by focusing on what my kids need/want from me I do feel that we have had a much calmer household over the past few weeks.Throughout the book Chapman clearly describes the mindset of teens, how they may be feeling and what they need in order to feel loved during a very emotional and stressful age. He uses a fairly strong Christian base to his teachings with several Biblical/Christian references being made throughout the book. A couple of times it almost took on a preachy vibe but overall I don't think non-Christians will mind the references.Is this the most concise parenting book I’ve read? No. I did find the book overly long for the amount of information that was provided and feel it could have been cut down quite a bit without losing the information given. And while there is good information provided, many of the parenting techniques aren't anything new but can be used to remind parents of things that they knew all along but needed a refresher in.One of the 'refreshers' that I needed was quite simple but made me do a mental forehead smack when I read it. You can't parent a teen the same way you parented them when they were a child. The rules change. The boy who did as he was told as a child is now arguing and pushing boundaries at every turn because he wants to become his own person. Pushing away from Mom and Dad is what's supposed to happen as teens learn to 'go it alone' more and more without Mom and Dad hovering over them to ensure that nothing bad happens. That said, rules and boundaries are just as important now as they were when he was younger. Rules, consequences and boundaries must be set in advance and be clear and consistent so everyone knows what's expected and what will happen if boundaries are crossed. This involves a lot of communication and respect all around. I liked the fact that this book doesn't sugar coat things and encourages parents to allow their kids to feel the consequences of their actions. Mom and Dad don't need to ride in on a white horse to save the day if Junior's decision ends badly. The teens, after making their own decisions, have to face the consequences, good or bad, just as they will when they're adults.I take away from this book a few new tidbits of parenting wisdom to make my parenting arsenal that much stronger. Encouraging independence is something that Brad and I have always done with our kids but as Boy 1 begins to push farther than my comfort zone is comfortable with I can look back at this book and realize that it's OK for me to let go of the reigns (just a little). Allow him to stumble, make decisions (even when I don't agree) and begin to pull away from Brad and I to become his own person. Hard to do but oh so necessary because in the end creating independent, self-sufficient, caring and compassionate adults who know they are loved is the end result of parenting. Recommended.My Rating: 3.5/5 stars


Very good book for every parent of a teenager to help you understand how to make your child feel loved. These concepts are helpful in every relationship. It also helped me better understand some of the changes going on inside my sons as they grow up.


Like the idea of love languages and the quizzes at the back of the book help. Feel like I already do a lot of the ideas, so guess that's a good thing. Quick read...nothing revolutionary.

Robyn Bowman

One of the most practical Parenting books i have read. A must for any parent of teenagers.


This book building upon the original while still being a separate read. That is, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers contains very specific and practical guidance on how to express the teen's primary love language, how to teach them appropriate responsibility, and how to properly handle both parental and teen anger. It is a tangible resource for stemming the tide of violence, immorality, and despair engulfing many teens today.


This is a great review for parents of teenagers. It talks about the different methods that we can express love to our teenagers, when and how to utilize them, and how the five love languages apply to kids when they become teenagers versus when they were children.I highly recommend this book for all parents-- and read it BEFORE they become teenagers so that you are prepared to grow and 'change' with them! Of course, I highly recommend the book The Five Love Languages of Children for all parents of children.


I think this was a really helpful book to read - to try to understand my teenager a little better. I say try, because it's a constant battle. What I didn't like about the book is that most of the things that we battle over - the author relates it to their trying to be in control of their lives, and define themselves as their own person. While I value that, there are times when they still need to do things with their family, or what we ask - just because we ask them to.

Emma Lavern

Reader's response, not a summary:It would be wise for every parent to read this book if they have children, whether they be teenagers or adults. Through God's grace I have been set free from my own struggles facing abandonment, rejection, not feeling good enough, not feeling accepted or wanted, etc., through Pastor Paul Coneff's Straight 2 the Heart Ministry. This book clarified everything I did or didn't agree with, everything I saw and understood, my struggle for self-identity, fight for independence, and need to speak. I am fortunate for God's grace and mercy upon me, and I would wish that every parent would read this book before any teenager struggles through what I had to before they hit my age at 22 finally being able to step forward independently and embrace my true identity and appreciation in living. And parents, this would do you well to release you from any blame, shame, and humiliation in your older children as you are offered to accept your own flaws and dogmatic control that you had,and might still have, over them when they were teenagers. This book can only extend grace and blanket with love.

Amy Winkelman

I read Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages of Children when my kids were just children and I remember thinking why would I need a seperate book just for teenagers. Now that I have one teenager and one pre-teen, I get it. This book ( and quite frankly all of his books) was written in such a way that I didn't get bogged down in clinical terms. It is straight forward and gives you all the tools you need to speak your teen's love language to him.


This guide started out well enough, but as many other reviewers pointed out, it gets repetitive and superficial from there. I was pretty impressed that the author could string out the basics of his five love languages concept for so long, without really adding any new information. Still, this gave me a refresher on perceiving the different ways teens express themselves, so I guess it was somewhat worthwhile. Skim through his original book, though, to get it all and save some time.

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